Roses, Bears, and Babies
by PinkAngel17
Summary: A few missing scenes during the episode 'The Q and the Grey'. What other tricks did Q try?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You've probably already guessed this, but I don't own Star Trek Voyager or any other branch of Star Trek.

I got the idea for this fic from a list of pick-up lines and rebuttals a friend sent me the other day. A couple of them sounded Janeway-ish so I decided to use them for a story. They'll be spread out over four chapter and you'll probably be able to pick them out pretty easily. Enjoy!

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Captain Janeway immediately looked around as soon as she walked into the mess hall. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. Unless of course you counted the strange, oddly neon purple looking substance currently boiling in the kitchen and the acidic smell to match, but other then that nothing seemed out of place. Just a few random crew members quietly having lunch.

Maybe she'd actually be able to have her own lunch in peace today. Even as she re-filled her coffee cup, replicated a bowl of soup, and found an empty table near a secluded corner she knew she probably wasn't that lucky. Mainly due to Q's recent antics.

The man was insane and incredibly annoying, but determined as well. Or maybe stubborn was a better word. Just how many times would she have to say 'no' for him to comprehend it?

'_Pop'_

Well, her peace and quite lasted a whole five minutes. No surprise there. Q may be stubborn and determined, but so was she.

"Is this seat empty?" The man in question asked with an overly done politeness as he stood on the other side of the table.

"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." She answered smoothly, not bothering to look up from the daily report she was reading.

"Very well, I'll just have to find somewhere else to sit then." He stated nonchalantly, but followed by an exaggerated sigh.

With a flick of his wrist he was gone…and instead sitting right next to her. She looked up as he threw an arm around the back of her seat and scooted closer till their legs were touching. "Q, why don't you just give up this whole charade and tell me what it is you're really after."

"Kathy, my dear, I already told you." He said with another sigh while shaking his head. "It's time I settled down."

With a raised eyebrow and a 'not buying it for a minute' look she downed what was left of her coffee and stood up. "You might as well go find that Romulan Empress then, Q." She stated before turning to leave, but stopped and looked back. "Or maybe a Cyrillian microbe really would be a better match for you." She added before vacating the mess hall.

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Well, there's the first chapter. What'd you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek Voyager or anything else. Now, on with the story!

This chapter doesn't actually have any of the pick-up/rebuttal lines. It just popped into my head while I was writing this little story.

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She knew something was wrong the minute the turbo lift doors opened. There was a distinct smell in the air, almost like a forest just after it'd rained. Cautiously stepping out of the lift and onto the bridge she looked around. The bridge crew was casually working at their stations, only glancing around occasionally as if expecting something to suddenly materialize. Everything would have seemed pretty normal if it weren't for the hundreds of red roses spread out over every surface and the petals covering the floor.

She felt a headache coming on that was for sure. With a slight shake of her head she walked passed Tuvok's station and down to the center of the bridge on her way to the captain's chair. Unfortunately her customary seat was already occupied.

"Commander, there's a bear in my seat." She stated, still staring at the huge stuffed bear in her chair. It's thick fur was almost completely white expect for the brown ears and paws. It was also extremely large. She was sure that, if stood up, it would be nearly as tall as her. Under normal circumstances it might be cute, but at the moment she wanted nothing more then to throw it out an air lock.

"Yes, Captain." Commander Chakotay stated and she could swear she heard a hint of amusement hiding behind his nonchalant attitude.

"I've been replaced by a stuffed animal?" She half stated, half asked with fake outrage and a tinge of exasperation.

A muffled noise came from her right making her look over just in time to see her first officer ducking his head as he stared at a PADD, seemingly focused on it's contents. The twitching at the corner of his mouth gave him away though.

"We have been unsuccessful in removing the object, Captain." Came Tuvok's even, baritone voice before she had a chance to wipe that smirk off her first officer's face.

"What do you mean 'unsuccessful'?" She demanded, though she wasn't too sure she wanted to know the answer.

"We've tried moving it, but it just re-appears right back to the same spot." B'Elanna answered from the engineering post.

"We even tried using the transporter." Harry added with a slight shrug. "It just comes back. The same with the flowers."

With one hand on her hip she used the other to message her temples. Her headache was quickly becoming a migraine. Looking up again she marched forward and picked up the offending bear by the neck. It was big and awkward to carry, but she easily managed to move it. Walking towards the turbo lift she stopped at the security station and placed the massive animal in the corner behind the console.

"If it moves you have my permission to shoot it." She told her chief security officer who simply raised an eyebrow at her with a murmured 'indeed'.

Moving back to her now empty chair she slumped down with a triumphant look and a glance towards her first officer.

"Report." She stated, but it was quickly muffled by something big, soft and furry in her face. The bear had returned…right on top of her. It was now sitting in her lap easily covering her entire upper half and obstructing her vision.

She was going to kill Q.

Sliding her arms around the bear's middle she sat up a bit straighter and pulled the bear down enough so she could poke her head out over it's shoulder. "Report." She demanded once again.

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Well, there's chapter two. What did you think?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own Star Trek Voyager. I only play with the characters.

This chapter does have a pick-up/rebuttal line. It may not be as easy to spot as the last one though. Enjoy!

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Q had been around for two days now and they had yet to find out what he really wanted. Janeway knew it wasn't just his sudden desire to have a family. There was something bigger going on, some scheme he had thought up to make her life difficult. She just hadn't figured out what that plan was yet.

She was about to leave her quarters and head to the bridge for her morning shift when she remembered the PADD on her coffee table. Turning around she stopped in her tracks.

Her furniture was gone, only to be replaced with a small squire table with a gold and red table clothe and two chairs with matching cushions. Q was no where to be seen, but she knew that probably wouldn't last long. Taking a few steps forward she noticed the two empty plates and the covered dish in the center of the table.

"Whatever this is, Q, it's not going to work. Just like all your other insane tricks. I want my quarters returned to normal by the time I get back." She said, looking around with a hard gaze before tunring back towards the door.

"Now, now, Kathy. You can't go to work without breakfast." Came the voice she was quickly beginning to loathe.

"Watch me." She stated smoothly without stopping or looking back. The captain was just about to the door when it vanished from in front of her and she found herself sitting in one of the cushioned chairs.

"How do you like your eggs, darling?" Q asked in a deep, almost drawling voice as he peered down at her suggestively with one hand on the lid of the covered dish.

"Unfertilized." She dead-panned while pushing herself out of the chair. Unfortunately she didn't get far. Before she even took two steps she was right back in the chair.

"Very well then, we'll just have oatmeal this morning." Q stated and a bowl of steaming oatmeal appeared before her along with a glass of what looked like orange juice. Knowing Q the juice was probably spiked with Romulan Ale.

She looked down at the food and then back up with a raised eyebrow before leaning back and crossing her arms. "If you're done showing off I have a ship to run."

"Showing off! Me?" Q exclaimed with obviously fake offense as his hand flew to his chest in outrage. "Why, Kathy, how could you think I'd be so egotistical. I'm simply trying to provide you your daily nutritional needs so you can better lead you meek little troops."

"I don't have time for this today." Again she moved to stand, but now seemed to be stuck to the seat.

"Now, Kathryn, we both know your shift doesn't start for another hour so you don't have to be worried about being late to any meetings." He rebuked while pouring a cup of coffee and sitting it in front of her.

"I'm leaving." She stated, drawing out the words as if explaining it to a five year old. This time she was not only able to stand, but actually made it to the door.

'_Pop_'

Q was suddenly blocking her escape route with a hurt look on his face. "You forgot our good-bye kiss." He stated with a pout before leaning over as if to kiss her, but just then the door chime sounded.

"Enter!" Janeway ordered exuberantly and turned her face toward the door so her cheek was now facing Q.

The door slide open to reveal Chakotay just outside. He looked between Q and the captain obviously not liking what he walked into. "Oh, you always have to ruin the moment don't you, Chuckles." An irritated Q stated.

Chakotay ignored the intruding menace, addressing the captain instead. "Just thought I'd come see if you wanted to have breakfast in the mess hall before bridge shift, Captain." He stated, now eyeing Q suspiciously.

"A wonderful idea, Commander. Let's go!" She quickly slid past Q and grabbed Chakotay's arm, as he remained staring daggers at Q, and began half dragging him down the hall.

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Let me know what you think! Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I've said it before, but I'll say it again...I do not own Star Trek Voyager!

A/N: This chapter is pretty short, but it's just a little something to wrap it all up. It picks up where the episode left off. Also, I've considered starting another story which would basically be a collection of mostly non-related oneshots (some involving Q), each with a pick-up/rebuttal line. Send me a message or leave a review to let me know what you think of that idea. Anyways, hope you enjoy this last chapter!

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"Bye-bye.." Q said, waving his son's hand in the familiar gester of fairwell before both disappeared. Captain Janeway let out a breath and rubbed her tired eyes. It could have been worse she supposed. The entire universe could have come unraveled instead of her crew just getting stuck in the middle of the Q's civil war and giving her a migraine in the process.

Besides, maybe now Q would leave her alone for awhile sense he'll have a baby to look after. And maybe, just maybe, Q himself would actually learn a thing or two in the process. Then again, she wasn't that lucky.

Turning around to her desk she unconsciously froze to the spot, a snarl twisting her mouth. It was back. That damn fur ball of a stuffed animal was sitting at her desk in her chair!

Q was going to die.

If, or probably when, she saw him again she was going to wring his neck. Or better yet, tie him to that bear and throw both of them into space. It might not actually kill him, but it'd certainly make her feel better. Walking over to her desk she eyed the offending, almost cute, stuffed bear with a raised eyebrow. Grabbing the two PADDs she needed to work on she turned sharply and moved over to her couch, not even bothering to move the bear.

Yes, Q was going to die a slow, painful death….

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Well, that's it. Thank you all so much for reading and for all the great reviews! Don't forget to give me your opinion on that oneshot collection story.


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